is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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