Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think people are normalizing furries
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
