he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
