honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
