i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it because I queefed?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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