i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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