Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
