Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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