Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
