how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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