he puts the penis in happiness.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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