so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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