for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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