Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
