thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
