Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't like sucking hair
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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