JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
