Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
