I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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