I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
