Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
third nipple confirmed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
