also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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