Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
