you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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