sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
