That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
