Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
