what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
