Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
