I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
