Sober January is a disaster.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
