After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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