The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
