I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
