yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
