i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
