What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
