You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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