i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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