Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
