We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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