Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
