my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
