this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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