The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
