I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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