So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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