Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found a bag of teeth...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
