I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
