he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
