i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
